Since 'God Made a Banker,' Charlotte Must Be Heaven

One of the most popular and top-rated commercials during this year's Super Bowl was the "So God Made a Farmer" commercial by Dodge Ram. The two-minute spot featured a voiceover from a speech delivered by legendary broadcaster Paul Harvey in 1978, and was paired with beautiful countryside photos of farms and farmers that looked like they'd been run through Instagram filters.

While that commercial may have pulled at Americans' heartstrings, it's also sparked some parodies. One of the latest is "So God Made a Banker" by Brett Arends for MarketWatch. While it isn't set to video or audio (yet), you're asked to "read in the voice of Paul Harvey."

The column features such standout lines as:

God said, “I need someone who doesn’t grow anything or make anything but who will borrow money from the public at 0% interest and then lend it back to the public at 2% or 5% or 10% and pay himself a bonus for doing so.”

So God made a banker.

God said, “And I need somebody who will tell everyone else to stand on their own two feet, but who will then run to the government for a bailout as soon as he gets into trouble — and who will then use that bailout money to help elect a Congress that will look the other way. And then pay himself another bonus.”

That verbiage got me thinking: Since God made a banker, then Charlotte must be heaven. Because this city makes (has) a lot of bankers, as the second largest banking center in the country. And I guess the intersection of Trade and Tryon streets in Uptown would be the pearly gates. And Billy Graham Parkway is, well...